Why I Stayed

Why I stayed.

I stayed because I loved him.
I stayed because he said he loved me.
I stayed because we had kids.
I stayed because this was my 3rd marriage.
I stayed because it would be embarrassing to leave.
I stayed because I thought I would be judged.
I stayed because nothing I read said it was ok to leave.
I stayed because they said to give it time.
I stayed because maybe it really wasn't that bad.
I stayed because I felt guilty.
I stayed because I didn't want my kids in a broken home.
I stayed because I cut myself off from family and friends.
I stayed because I had no way to support myself and my kids.
I stayed because I didn't know what I would do.
I stayed because I was scared.
I stayed because I thought I could handle it.
I stayed because I thought it would get better.
I stayed because I thought I could change myself for him.

I shouldn't have stayed. Don't stay. Don't encourage people to stay. Get out. Pay attention to the red flags. Don't stay.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Ever After

Image
This one is for you This story is before, and after, it all happened I will tell you about before, later. And after, will be soon.  But for now... I will never forget, falling in love with you.  My first love, this one is for you. We were just kids, dancing in the rain, at a punk rock show.  It was you, it was always you. I had just overcome the darkness.  I was full of joy and light.  I danced in the puddles, in the pouring rain.  My soul was on fire, I was... happy.  And then there you were.  Your deep brown eyes and your enchanting smile.  One look, one smile, one laugh.  A soul like no other I had seen.  You had me, you always had me. We flew to the moon, we skipped on the clouds and we watched the stars as they flew by.  It was you, it was always you.  Our souls danced and they sang, a melody never heard before, and never heard again.  It was always you. And then you left just as quickly as you c...
Read more

The first wedding

Image
March 15, 2003 just one week before this punk rock girl turned 18, because rebels you know, she walked down the aisle to marry the love of her life, while a Sigor Ros song, that lasted just long enough to make everyone squirm, because, rebels you know, played. Afterwards on the way to the reception, this giddy new bride looked deeply into the brown eyes of her groom and he said “you know this may not work right?” She held his hand, staring back with her naive, hopelessly hopeful blue eyes and said softly “I know”. Obviously, he was right... It worked for about 4 years, none of which really worked.  But, I think back on none of my life with any regret or sorrow. Only fondness for the experiences and wisdom I gained from pain and from joy. For the love I felt and I gave. I would not be who I am today, if it were not for every decision I have made in my life. And I’m not even close to being done learning, growing and loving. Because I’ll only stop when I take my last breath.
Read more